What do you like to do?

Lately I have spent a good amount of time with people I don't know personally. They always ask the same questions when they are trying to get to know you (or just making conversation)

What do you like to do?

My answer is always "Well right now I don't have much free time between school and work"

The real answer is that I love to sleep, shop, eat, and watch TV and movies. But who really wants to hear about those things? Actually I seem pretty lame if those are the things I like to do.

People want to hear things like hiking, skiing, boating, camping, and traveling. While yes these things are fun I don't want to do these things when I go home at the end of the day. I enjoy doing these things and yes every once and a while it I love it.

I have done so many exciting "bucket-list" type activities in my life that were never on my bucket list to begin with. rode in a powered parachute, flew an airplane (I was the pilot), indoor skydiving, deep sea kayaking in Alaska, para-sailing in mexico, Canopy tour in mexico, rode in a hot air balloon, deep sea fishing in Alaska, learning to dive off the diving boards, jumping into a pit of foam blocks from trampolines. I love my memories from these experiences and want to add to this list but I'm happy being lame :)

so from my most recent adventure:

Life

some thoughts

He may not give me butterflies but he doesn't make me cry, and would do anything to make me happy.

A place is only as good as the people in it. I have always been blessed with amazing people in my life. Yes that means the past and present.

I'm starting to really love the way my body looks and my personality is shining through.

I have absolutely no idea who reads this blog, if you're out there I hope you find it interesting.

I want to be friends with my ex so badly but I don't know if I can just stop at that or what my new boyfriend would think about me staying friends.

I am getting my senior pictures taken on Tuesday :) I have made it so far in my life, overcome things I never thought possible. I feel strong and happy. Hopefully these pictures show just that!

I graduate in a month! Well actually I walk in a month and graduate at the end of the summer semester. I can't believe its already here. I am going to have some great people there cheering me on and some people I wished were there but it'll be worth it either way.

I sincerely hope Blair didn't lie to me just to tell me things I wanted to hear, and that he has a hold up against marriage. I say this because if he was lying to me the whole time about wanted to be with me forever I can't have faith in any of my future relationships.

Its so different in my new relationship, maybe it was like this in the beginning with my ex but I know Kyle would do absolutely anything to make me happy and towards the end of my past relationship it was more me making him happy. Maybe I didn't try hard enough but things will be better now.

It happened

Well I finally ran into my ex...

I know that this may just seem to drag on and on all my sad sob story tales but this might just give me a little more closure about the whole situation...

Jaimee and Jer decided we needed to have sushi for dinner so we went to Ninja and guess who walks in? Yup my ex and his sister. (well yesterday I ran into him at walmart) There really isn't way for us not to acknowledge each other at this point and his sister came and gave me a hug so he did as well. He said "I hope your doing ok" and they went to sit down. I had a small little break to the bathroom where I cried for a bit. But after that I came back and had a great dinner.

After dinner I went and talked to his sister and him for a little while and I held it together pretty well. Even if I do say myself, jaimee says so too. I feel less afraid of running into him at functions like water polo games and stuff. He is still the same guy, I think since the break up I put him up on a pedestal which is stupid. My memories of him seem less scary and more realistic.

All and all I feel good about what happened. He missed out on a great thing and I missed out some what too but he definitely had the greater loss. I dunno why I still feel sorrow for leaving him when I have the greatest boyfriend :) I have to get over the past and on to the future...

Two months

I guess its been over two months but better late than never.

I don't have a lot to say about the past except when I saw him driving the other day I was filled with a burning feeling in my stomach. Maybe this is rage or hate, I just know I didn't like it. I still miss my best friend but I am seeing past the surface of the past and realizing I'm happier now than I was. so YAY go me!!

New thoughts -

Its nice to have someone call me beautiful, and care about me ;)

I want to be independent, this is causing me grief.

I will have my own kitchen one day and everything will be exactly where I want!

I need to work harder for bikini season (no more cheat days!)

School is almost done and I seriously have senioritis

I have the best family and friends, this summer is going to be the best ever!

I am excited to get out and do more things with those people

I got more back on my taxes than I originally thought!

I made it to salt lake in one piece even though it was raining

My mom is my best friend, she is goofy just like me.

I AM funny and humble ;)

I really like who I am, and not so much who I was for the past 2 years.

Sleeping in a king bed by myself is awesome! I will have one of my own one day.

I really would be scared to be married with children right now, even though I'd be the perfect wife... I am happy where I'm at for now.

I am living in the moment, what could have happened and what will happen are just not as satisfying.

I miss his family but talking to them just opens those wounds.

I am stronger for this, but also scared of opening myself back up... there are walls there and it will take a while to break them down. Good thing Kyle is wonderful and patient.

Till next time!