I know two in one day!! I guess I just have a lot to say :)
1. Every just know someone whose voice makes you cringe? Whenever I here this person's voice I immediately lose attention in what they are saying... their laugh makes me want to puke. I know this person has interesting stories and such but I can't make myself want to hear them. I am not sure if it is the tone of voice, mannerisms or just that person in general
2. This same person asks so many stupid/pointless questions. If you are eating a sandwich they will ask "are you eating lunch?" its like duh! think about it...
3. I find my job funny, yes nurses and doctors you make life interesting as a lab tech.
4. Whenever I see someone outside running I think "good for you!" however I cannot muster up the will power to do it myself.
5. People who complain about money problems shouldn't be spending money like its going out of style.
6. I can usually find a reason to smile... no matter how little the reason.
7. I may misjudge people but when I do it is usually because I want to protect myself.
8. I wish I was creative enough to take pictures for a living...
9. Running away may not solve any of my problems but it sure sounds like a fun idea!
10. Organic milk takes WAY better than regular.
11. People amaze me, whether its a good thing or a bad thing I haven't a clue. (most the time they don't either)
12. I want red velvet cheese cake so Freaking Bad!
13. I may be single but I am loved ;)
14. If I make time for you its because you are important to me... please return the favor.
15. Red is still my favorite color
16. Chocolate and coke make life less stressful
17. I need to eat less and exercise more... always.
18. My mom is crazy funny... morphine and hug is what she gives her patients ha ha
19. tiramisu is my favorite dessert (for now i think)
20. Some days push-up bras make all the difference ;)
Friday, June 24, 2011
Older AND Wiser!
So now that I had a pity party for my last two posts, maybe I should fill you in on my lease on life...
I kind of pictured my 22nd birthday as a sad reminder of how single I am. I expected that once the clock chimed midnight on 6/18/2011 I would suddenly feel like the sad lonely woman who lives down the street.
I didn't feel like that at all! Once I knew it was officially my birthday I felt a sense of calmness and I know this sounds cheesy but I felt happier to be in my situation and wiser about life in general. I know, how silly does that sound?
I have come to realize that while I didn't care if my birthday was a big deal or not but the people around me sure love me enough to make it special. I did get a little moody but hell it was my birthday right? I just needed a small break from people for an hour or so. So many people made my day awesome!
When I stop and think about that day I noticed that I focus on me a lot! Most days for me are spent doing or thinking what could make me happy and when I do something for someone else is when I am truly happy.
I do however find myself doing what other people want often, which is different in a sense that they may think its what I want when in fact it isn't. Kind of an interesting conundrum. I just hate disappointing people or making them angry but it is my life... not theirs.
On the bright side I found a new website to waste time on... its pinterest.com and basically its tons of pictures and you and pin them to your own boards for things like food, style, home ideas. It has everything and I loved making collages when I was younger ;) same idea.
So the first block of summer classes is done!! Only two more classes left before I get my degree and can take my boards!! So nervous! Seven weeks is all I have left of school :S hopefully I can make it!
by the way have you watched the voice? on NBC... seriously favorite show right now! This boy makes me melt...
I kind of pictured my 22nd birthday as a sad reminder of how single I am. I expected that once the clock chimed midnight on 6/18/2011 I would suddenly feel like the sad lonely woman who lives down the street.
I didn't feel like that at all! Once I knew it was officially my birthday I felt a sense of calmness and I know this sounds cheesy but I felt happier to be in my situation and wiser about life in general. I know, how silly does that sound?
I have come to realize that while I didn't care if my birthday was a big deal or not but the people around me sure love me enough to make it special. I did get a little moody but hell it was my birthday right? I just needed a small break from people for an hour or so. So many people made my day awesome!
When I stop and think about that day I noticed that I focus on me a lot! Most days for me are spent doing or thinking what could make me happy and when I do something for someone else is when I am truly happy.
I do however find myself doing what other people want often, which is different in a sense that they may think its what I want when in fact it isn't. Kind of an interesting conundrum. I just hate disappointing people or making them angry but it is my life... not theirs.
On the bright side I found a new website to waste time on... its pinterest.com and basically its tons of pictures and you and pin them to your own boards for things like food, style, home ideas. It has everything and I loved making collages when I was younger ;) same idea.
So the first block of summer classes is done!! Only two more classes left before I get my degree and can take my boards!! So nervous! Seven weeks is all I have left of school :S hopefully I can make it!
by the way have you watched the voice? on NBC... seriously favorite show right now! This boy makes me melt...
This girl is from utah and I adored this song:
Honestly I was so sad to see thing girl leave:
Blake shelton's song makes me smile..
Adam lavine... will you marry me?
Wonderful :)
This guy reminds me of Drew Brown :)
vicci- what a song...
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
unlucky
Well I got my hopes up for this amazing place! And I didn't get it, everyone says "there will be better" but really I don't think so...
2 bed 2 bath, nice kitchen, two car garage, allows pets, access to a swimming pool and hot tub, rent includes internet and cable, washer and dryer hook ups, lots of storage, way cute layout. Literally less than a 500 feet from where I work. No yard work, No snow shoveling..
How exactly do you beat that? You don't. I am seriously thinking my luck has run out, or well ran out around dec/jan this year... Damn bad experiences.
shit happens but you just can't be happy about it, I have done nothing but sit in my own self wallowing tonight. I am seriously bummed.
I did however apply to be a med tech at Sea world :) It is completely a shot in the dark but who know what I really am supposed to do or where I should go at this point in my life. I feel so lost and confused. But I do know I have always dreamed of working with marine animals and would have an amazing time there. But I am not exactly the person they are look for... I probably shouldn't even talk about it, I hate getting my hopes up and then crushed.
This song was on the radio right after I found out I didn't get my dream apartment:
I can't help but think that my happiest days are behind me... how depressing!
Oh well tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully a better one :)
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
did you know?
I will be 22 in exactly 11 days... This is not an exciting birthday, it will be low key probably just a family dinner and a little cake which is great! It's all I really want. If you know me then this probably kind of a surprise because I am known for making a big deal out of birthdays.
In fact I am dreading this birthday.
In utah the average age for females for marriage is 22.1, that means that half of the people my age are already married and honestly it feelsl like a lot more of the people I know are married than half. I am not saying this because I want to run out and find the next guy and get married because I want it to be real and a forever thing. Trust me I could have done that if I really only wanted to be married. I just want to find my partner in life and start our journey together, at this point I kind of feel lost in a vortex of pointless-ness if that makes any sense.
My little sister will get married before me which yes I have come to terms with but it still kind of sucks after all I had the guy and then lost him... but you all know that story.
Honestly I feel like an old maid and I'm only 22! Outside of utah the average marriage age for females is 26.1 so hopefully I can find the next Mr. Right by then... I should be living my life and not stressing about things I have absolutely no control over.
It doesn't help that constantly people ask me if I'm dating someone new or if I'm getting married in the near future. Or when my grandma tells me how she is proud of me for graduating college and in the same breath says she wants great grand children. It feels like I can do everything else right but because I'm not married, I am automatically a loser.
I have a ton of things that people my age don't have; a nice car, a career, a college degree, soon my own place... Its like these things don't matter.
The next part is how do I find a guy? church, sure but that is more like a meat market than anything else! I kinda feel like sticking a big sign on my head that says SINGLE for all of them. I am kinda at a loss here...
maybe this will work:
oh man...
In fact I am dreading this birthday.
In utah the average age for females for marriage is 22.1, that means that half of the people my age are already married and honestly it feelsl like a lot more of the people I know are married than half. I am not saying this because I want to run out and find the next guy and get married because I want it to be real and a forever thing. Trust me I could have done that if I really only wanted to be married. I just want to find my partner in life and start our journey together, at this point I kind of feel lost in a vortex of pointless-ness if that makes any sense.
My little sister will get married before me which yes I have come to terms with but it still kind of sucks after all I had the guy and then lost him... but you all know that story.
Honestly I feel like an old maid and I'm only 22! Outside of utah the average marriage age for females is 26.1 so hopefully I can find the next Mr. Right by then... I should be living my life and not stressing about things I have absolutely no control over.
It doesn't help that constantly people ask me if I'm dating someone new or if I'm getting married in the near future. Or when my grandma tells me how she is proud of me for graduating college and in the same breath says she wants great grand children. It feels like I can do everything else right but because I'm not married, I am automatically a loser.
I have a ton of things that people my age don't have; a nice car, a career, a college degree, soon my own place... Its like these things don't matter.
The next part is how do I find a guy? church, sure but that is more like a meat market than anything else! I kinda feel like sticking a big sign on my head that says SINGLE for all of them. I am kinda at a loss here...
maybe this will work:
oh man...
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