I will be 22 in exactly 11 days... This is not an exciting birthday, it will be low key probably just a family dinner and a little cake which is great! It's all I really want. If you know me then this probably kind of a surprise because I am known for making a big deal out of birthdays.
In fact I am dreading this birthday.
In utah the average age for females for marriage is 22.1, that means that half of the people my age are already married and honestly it feelsl like a lot more of the people I know are married than half. I am not saying this because I want to run out and find the next guy and get married because I want it to be real and a forever thing. Trust me I could have done that if I really only wanted to be married. I just want to find my partner in life and start our journey together, at this point I kind of feel lost in a vortex of pointless-ness if that makes any sense.
My little sister will get married before me which yes I have come to terms with but it still kind of sucks after all I had the guy and then lost him... but you all know that story.
Honestly I feel like an old maid and I'm only 22! Outside of utah the average marriage age for females is 26.1 so hopefully I can find the next Mr. Right by then... I should be living my life and not stressing about things I have absolutely no control over.
It doesn't help that constantly people ask me if I'm dating someone new or if I'm getting married in the near future. Or when my grandma tells me how she is proud of me for graduating college and in the same breath says she wants great grand children. It feels like I can do everything else right but because I'm not married, I am automatically a loser.
I have a ton of things that people my age don't have; a nice car, a career, a college degree, soon my own place... Its like these things don't matter.
The next part is how do I find a guy? church, sure but that is more like a meat market than anything else! I kinda feel like sticking a big sign on my head that says SINGLE for all of them. I am kinda at a loss here...
maybe this will work:
oh man...
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
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