It happened

Well I finally ran into my ex...

I know that this may just seem to drag on and on all my sad sob story tales but this might just give me a little more closure about the whole situation...

Jaimee and Jer decided we needed to have sushi for dinner so we went to Ninja and guess who walks in? Yup my ex and his sister. (well yesterday I ran into him at walmart) There really isn't way for us not to acknowledge each other at this point and his sister came and gave me a hug so he did as well. He said "I hope your doing ok" and they went to sit down. I had a small little break to the bathroom where I cried for a bit. But after that I came back and had a great dinner.

After dinner I went and talked to his sister and him for a little while and I held it together pretty well. Even if I do say myself, jaimee says so too. I feel less afraid of running into him at functions like water polo games and stuff. He is still the same guy, I think since the break up I put him up on a pedestal which is stupid. My memories of him seem less scary and more realistic.

All and all I feel good about what happened. He missed out on a great thing and I missed out some what too but he definitely had the greater loss. I dunno why I still feel sorrow for leaving him when I have the greatest boyfriend :) I have to get over the past and on to the future...

Two months

I guess its been over two months but better late than never.

I don't have a lot to say about the past except when I saw him driving the other day I was filled with a burning feeling in my stomach. Maybe this is rage or hate, I just know I didn't like it. I still miss my best friend but I am seeing past the surface of the past and realizing I'm happier now than I was. so YAY go me!!

New thoughts -

Its nice to have someone call me beautiful, and care about me ;)

I want to be independent, this is causing me grief.

I will have my own kitchen one day and everything will be exactly where I want!

I need to work harder for bikini season (no more cheat days!)

School is almost done and I seriously have senioritis

I have the best family and friends, this summer is going to be the best ever!

I am excited to get out and do more things with those people

I got more back on my taxes than I originally thought!

I made it to salt lake in one piece even though it was raining

My mom is my best friend, she is goofy just like me.

I AM funny and humble ;)

I really like who I am, and not so much who I was for the past 2 years.

Sleeping in a king bed by myself is awesome! I will have one of my own one day.

I really would be scared to be married with children right now, even though I'd be the perfect wife... I am happy where I'm at for now.

I am living in the moment, what could have happened and what will happen are just not as satisfying.

I miss his family but talking to them just opens those wounds.

I am stronger for this, but also scared of opening myself back up... there are walls there and it will take a while to break them down. Good thing Kyle is wonderful and patient.

Till next time!

The plan

This wasn't the plan... and by the plan I mean the goals and dreams we shared for almost 3 years. I've had to make new plans and keep on moving forward by myself, given I've had help from friends and family. 

My new plans aren't straight forward or steady, they are different and that scares me. I see a lot of people in my life moving forward and starting their life with their significant others and I feel envy and regret but its not enough to give me a reason to go back to what we had, having my heart dragged through the mess of it. 

I should be focusing 100% on my new relationship, he deserves the best from me. When I'm with him I don't even think about the past, it's amazing. The downside I can't be with him all the time. Those happy memories eat at me, I try to focus on the bad in our relationship but it doesn't compete with the good. It'd be nice if I could forget how I felt about you but that is not really an option. 

So lets hear it from you guys... any advice?

News flash!

Let me quote a song from Fergie :

a girl like me don't stay single for long

'Cause every time a boyfriend and I break up

My world is crushed and I'm all alone

The love bug crawls right back up

And bites me and I'm back

So its officially official to all of you, and just in case you missed the facebook update I'm in a relationship. The most important part is that he is wonderful :) I guess I didn't want to announce things to everyone because I was afraid of hurting "you-know-who" but truth be told he is out of my life and now its on to bigger and better. 

I'm the type of girl who doesn't stay down for long. If I fall off the horse I sure as hell get right back on, and I'm excited about this ride.

Florida part 2

Ok so the last post was pretty much just pictures, let me explain things a little more in depth. I got to florida sunday night was exhausted from all the flights, I walked into my own suite and just felt so at piece to be so far away from all my stress that has been going on in my life. I didn't have to worry about my machine that goes live in a week from today, or the end of my relationship, and last but not least school. Given I had a metric ton of stuff to catch up on when I got back, I had a wonderful time.

It was an extremely hard week of work, but I was in a different state and with people who don't know or care about my personal drama! Everyday was at least 9 hours of work inspecting a hospital system,  the longest day was at least 12 hours including 5 hours of driving in cars. After we all finished at the hospitals the team (of 26 people) went out to dinner. These dinners were the highlight of the trip! I got to know these great people from the IHC hospitals and they are hilarious! Each dinner lasted about 3 hours and we went all out. One dinner my steak was 50$ alone, that doesn't count the sides or appetizers or desert. I bet my part of the meal cost 130$, good thing I didn't have to pay for it. Thats  the good thing about going for work, they pay for everything! It was an amazing dinner, the meat was aged for 3 weeks and it seriously melted in my mouth. That was a place called morton's steak house. The best dessert was from a place called coconuts, it was a coconut cheese cake with raspberry sauce. The texture was a little different but it was what made the dish!

After all the hard work we spent inspecting these hospitals I was exhausted by the end of the day, I think thats why the dinners were so entertaining (that and I am freaking hilarious when I'm tired) I was the youngest inspector by 10 years, so I was the baby. Everyone respected me and I felt like I was just one of the gang. I'll never forget my new friend Ward's Hepa-mai-tai or my nick name "sugar bag" (don't ask). I got a lot of insight into others lives and realized that yes my situation isn't easy but it could be so much worse, and I am fun and personable! So who wouldn't want this?

Side note; some people I work with made the observation about how much happier I seem now. I realize this is because a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and the weight would have been lifted no matter which direction I was forced to go but all the same I'm glad the old Dani is back.

Friday I spent 17 hours in airports or airplanes trying to get back to Cedar City. The Flight from Dallas to Salt Lake got pushed back an hour so we missed our connection to St. George utah! And the next flight didn't leave for 5 more hours, I am very familiar with the SLC airport. It isn't as cool as the Dalla airport in case you were wondering.

While in Florida I got to go to the Beach for 10 minutes one day, it was cloudy weather but I still got my feet wet. I wish I could have spent more time in Florida but I had no idea I would become such good friends with all the people I went with, if we had known we could have all gone to Disney world together or better yet Harry Potter land :)

Crissy from Dixie

 Rob from Logan (steve carell look a like)

 Patty :) 

 Christine from CAP

 Ward from QA

 Cloudy day at the beach

 The pier

 That little person is me

 My toes in the sand

 Ward washing the Man of War, so funny

Man of war (like a jelly fish)

 Better picture of Ward 

 The few shells I picked up

 Beach hair

Florida part 1

So got my own suite at the hotel for my trip :) it was so nice! I love having a king bed to my self! The water in all the toilets in Florida is yellow, so it looks like someone peed in every single one. Weird!

Here are a few little things I took pictures of

giant fish at dinner

 alaskan king crab and steak :) yummy

 on the plane to 70 degree weather

My job!

I have the best job ever! I am going to Florida for my job on Sunday! I will be inspecting 6 different hospitals in 4 days. I won't lie its going to be a TON of work, but i'll be in 80 degree weather and eating 5 star meals every night and staying in my own suite :) Not to mention i will be away from this place...

I want to explain my job a little more, I am a Medical Laboratory Scientist. Any blood tests you get drawn at the hospital or doctor's office come to me. Yes this means I know more about people than I want to. No I can't tell you any of it, which is definitely a good thing. I get to save lives every day, sometime I have more of an impact than others but still it counts. My first trauma was a bi-lateral stabbing, we transfused 26 units in 90 minutes. Dr. Stults told the lab that we saved this person's life. Talk about a rewarding compliment.

The other part of my job is called Point of Care, I am in charge of the testing that the nursing staff at Valley View  gets to perform bed side. It is a pretty big position and I still get nervous because some of the nurses I interact with have been nursing since before I was born. But so far I feel comfortable with the staff I have.

I am still going to school, I will be doing the same thing I do know only i'll get paid better. These next few pictures are of stuff I've done for class.

This bug is E.coli

 Also E.coli on a different plating media

This is actually a stool sample that is plated on a media that 

makes normal flora grow florescent orange