When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the "what if" game. I understand why, its because there is always another outcome or chance you should or shouldn't take. Spending your time dealing on what did or didn't happen is a waste but right now I can't help but wonder:
what if I lost my chance at happiness just because I wanted to get married?
what if I don't find anyone who makes me as happy as he did?
what if I could have made it work with him?
what if he starts dating someone new in a month?
what if he gets married in 5 months?
what if I am the 60 year old cat lady who let her soul mate go?
what if I am ruined for the rest of the male population?
what if I can't open my heart and trust another guy?
what if he is happier without me?
what if I never get another hug from him?
what if I can't rebuild my self esteem?
what if all the guys I date don't match up to him?
what if I have to settle for someone who is less than what I want?
what if I never get the chance to talk to him again?
what if I can't handle loosing him?
what if he doesn't feel the same way I do? heartbroken?
what if he never comes back to me?
what if someone else makes him happy?
what if I end up alone? how is that any better than being just the girlfriend?
The truth is I'd rather be the girlfriend the the lonely cat lady and I feel like I've just given up any chance of that happening. I miss him and wish we could fix this
Loving you
dani
1 comment:
What if you'll be 10 times as happy, but you have to wait a year or so to have it find you?
What if you find someone who makes you even happier than you knew?
What if you end up being a 60 year old grandmother of many who has gained a lot of wisdom along the way?
What if you have MANY people (over here! pick me!) who think you're a fantastic person with a great, sarcastic sense of humor and are awesome to be around?
Sorry you have to go through all this. :(
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